things i thought were cool: 2

My very first memory, in this lifetime at least, is of a van. One of those vans we might call a “rapist van” nowadays. You know – boxy – with tiny circular windows on the sides, tinted black. I don’t know. I thought it was cool. It had aluminum wheels with beefy tires and sat parked in the neighbor’s backyard. Don’t even think they drove it. Just sat there all day looking cool.

I guess my parents let me toddle around in our backyard quite often, because I returned to the fence enough to peer through and burn the image of that van into memory.

I think one time my mother pulled me away and I fussed.

I wanted to be in that van. Not with a rapist or anything. Just wanted to go on an adventure. Building blocks are boring.


things i thought were cool: 1

I remember this one boy in high school. He used to carry around protein powder and I thought it was cool, as if he was going to transform into the Incredible Hulk or something. He was real skinny, too. Just thought it was going to change his entire life, that powder. He used to pull out the bag and slam it onto the lunch table and dump the stuff into a container, clanking around the spoon, mixing it with water or milk or whatever best dissolved it.

Then he’d say something like, “Creatine is good for strength, but I’m focused on mass. 100% whey. That’s my standard.”

I don’t know. He’s married now and looks happy.

But he’s not an Incredible Hulk.

Literature, new novel

Other Lives for the Desert

The birds come bearing news of Spring.

Today, I come with news of my second novel!


“Other Lives for the Desert” serves as a prequel to my debut, Welcome to the Abyss, following protagonist Johan Nivens as he plunges into the cab of an 18-wheeler for a yearlong, cross-country adventure. Dust rises. Antics ensue.

Release is set for March 30th (digital/paperback), but the eBook is now available for pre-order here, where you can also find a short synopsis.

More info soon, including chapter previews, graphics, and a jazzy video trailer.

Life and stuff, Musings

Still Alive & Sanity Check ’16

It’s a year like any other, I’m told. I tell myself.

A year when the black cat comes to visit, and I feed it tuna and gaze out at the yard.

A year when I don’t ask questions like “Where does time go?” because I already know.

A year with turbulent skies, strapped in, looking around the cabin, bobbing heads, stumbling stewardess, armful of trash.

It feels a bit unusual, but also a bit ordinary. I’m somewhere in the middle I suppose. Perhaps this is what they call ‘balance’, I think, standing on one foot.

A year with nowhere and everywhere to go.

A year when bongos beat in the mountains and I hear them without leaving bed.

A year when I knock snow from my shoes, get a haircut, adjust my glasses, and pour the darker of the two stouts ’cause the night smokes.

It feels like somewhere I’ve been before, but also like a new planet, like the one they discovered last year. Kepler something-something.

Find a better name. Earth is so simple. Who came up with that?

Burnt out candles still smell like birthday cake, the sky is still a bug headlight, it’s 2016, and I’m still sane.

(and still miss the world)